The Mom Dance

Cat's Bottom Mouth

And so begins another season of Top Model which proves to be just as predictably predictable as always - and we keep watching!

There are 14 girls that start out the season - one of which is "plus sized" or as Tyra is now calling her..."Fiercely Real".  It's just fierce how real this girl is.  She's 26, too, so she's also fiercly old!

Another outcast in the ANTM society is the "Fiercely Nappy" rattail girl!  At least she shaves her armpits?

The Jay's show up to tell the girls that they did/didn't make it into the house.  Miss Jay is working his 14 year old preppy girl here to clean your house, look.

The Jay's tell all of the girls that they didn't make the cut.  It's cruel but it gives us the opportunity to see all sorts of emotions.  Which is fun!

And they completely flip a lid when Tyra announces that they ARE in and they're at their new Top Model home.  Screaming Chaos.

They run around getting used to the new place until Dominique calls a family meeting to announce "We ain't got no beds!" and "I don't even know wha to expect nomo!"

Tyra Mail lets the girls know that tomorrow they'll be getting the ball rolling.  Because she's an expert at figuring out word puzzles and clues, Jaclyn decides that must mean only one of two things.

1.) We're goin' to a ball.

2.) We're goin' to a bowling alley.

So in the morning, The Jays tell the girls that they'll be doing...their first runway show!  Cue screamface:

And that they'll be wearing T by Alexander Wang.  Somehow, trailer park girl knows Alexander Wang!  Girl did her homework!  Cue shockface:

And they'll be wearing Erin Wasson's jewelry...

And that they'll be walking on a 12 inch wide runway.  Cue shockface:

In a plastic bubble.  Cue scream/shock/omgface:

Upon seeing the plastic bubble, darling Sweet Tea Jaclyn says "What if they can't get it open and I'm stuck in that bubble for the rest of my life?  That went through my head a million times."

We can only hope!

Did you think the excitement was over?  Well, Russel James is going to be photographing them.  This calls for celebrationface:

The photoshoot is a backstage, behind-the-scenes before the runway show shoot.  I love the idea and have been really getting into looking at shoots from backstage.  They're even more interesting and tell a better story than the runway shows themselves, sometimes!

The emerging bitch of the show so far is Alexandria.  "I have natural swag." and "You don't have to like me." are her words of note.

The plastic bubble, 12 inch runway and the swimming pool combined are complete setups for failure.  Look at Molly - her face says everything.

First, the good.  The only redeeming factor to this challenge was the fact that they had cameras inside the bubbles.  This gave us some really artistic, unique views of the girls walking - confetti flying everywhere.  Pretty cool!

The bad: disaster was bound to strike.  Pretty humiliating - especially because they're completely left to fend for themselves, struggling for minutes to get out of the water.  It was a total hot mess.

Even Miss Jay didn't hold back giggles.  How ruuuude.  Oh yes and he even yelled out "Stay fabulous!!" as Ondrei was flailing about in her bubble.

They were easily brought back to celebrationface when they were told they were being gifted a piece of jewelry from Erin's collection.  It's sort of exciting I suppose but man, they really flip out over every little thing don't they?!

Best Tyra Ever.

Nigel notes that there's such a thing as "Cat's Bottom Mouth" which I've heard makes the rockin' world go round.

Molly wins best photo of the week - well deserved!

And from the amount of emotion that Dominique shows, you'd think she was the one being sent home, right?

Buuuuut...it's this girl:

Tyra tells her to "Go home and practice and get some pictures that are...more striking than you are."  What the heck is that supposed to mean?  Something tells me it's an unintentional insult.  Oh Tyra and the words that spill out of your mouth.

Phew.  That was emotional!  Or not.

It's too early to tell right now, but at this point my favorites are:

Maple Street

Maple Street: a collection of etsy goods inspired by my childhood

 

I thought I'd share this etsy treasury with you and my thoughts, stories and memories behind it!  I usually create them based on colors and patterns or seasons.  This one tells the story of my childhood years on Maple Street.

1.) The Wood Pile:  The driveway was connected to the alley that went through the middle of our block.  If we turned left down the alley, we'd soon come to a huge pile of firewood that was stacked against the neighbors fence.  I always looked at it and found it so intriguing.  Sometimes we'd climb up it.  Sometimes I'd stick things into the spaces between the logs.  Sometimes, Smokie would climb up it.  Once, Jane walked on it and a swarm of bees came out and we all had to run away screaming as they chased and stung us all the way home!  I pulled three stingers out of her head, and hair.  Bree ripped his pants off in the front yard in a panic because one was climbing up his leg.  Good times!

2.) Rotary Phone:  I loved using Grandma's rotary phone.  I think she still had it for a few years in the living room before replacing it with a cordless phone.  I also felt that the phone off the hook was a little bit symbolic for the relationship we had to keep with Dad, via telephone, until we saw him again.

3.) Luggage Tags:  These are a much more beautiful version of what we did each summer, before taking off on our own on an airplane to go to PA.  Remember tying ribbons onto our suitcases so we would know they were ours?

4.) Trees in Winter:  Duh.  Alpena.  Snow.

5.) Are we there yet?:  Those long, long car rides.  With the best answer to the question "are we there yet?  how much longer?"..."5 hours".

6.) Luggage:  Due to our yearly trip each summer, I learned how to become very good at packing for a long trip.  It doesn't mean I don't pack too much and it doesn't mean that I learned to travel light.  I just have learned...when it doubt...PACK IT.

7.) Head Phones:  You...in the living room...in spandex on a stair stepper...in headphones with the curly cord trailing across the room and plugged into the gigantic stereo system pumping out Salt 'n Peppa, shamelessly.

8.) Taken by Bats:  I have a vivid memory of sitting on the back porch on a cool night in the beginnings of summer.  The only light we had was from the glow of the windows.  I remember looking up into the night sky and watching the bats dart back and forth overhead.  They moved so much quicker than birds and it gave me the total creeps and I loved it.

9.) Bicycle Pillow:  The best way for a kid to get around that town was of course, by bike!  I even remember Bree learning how to ride his bike on 2 wheels when he was only 3 or 4 years old and I was totally impressed.  I had just barely learned by the time I was 7 or 8!

10.) Turtle:  It may not seem like I'd have any turtle memories, but one of the best things about the Maple Street house was the TURTLE SANDBOX.  I loved that thing!  It was where I learned about the power of positive thinking, turning a bad situation into a good one, and preaching these theories and techniques to others.  I was an old soul, what can I say!

11.) Sandcastles:  Of course I have water memories in Alpena!  Starlight beach, Long Lake, Lake Huron, Beaver Lake... Any and all bodies of water, I'd probably build a sandcastle there.  Except the river, that's gross.

12.) Banana Bread:  Thanks.  You always make it best!

13.) Tap Shoes:  Remember when you signed me up for tap dancing at the youth club?  I don't think I was any good at it but it was fun while it lasted.  I would've been way better at it if I was a boy, and gay.  The boy in our class was always better than everyone!

14.) Night Sky:  The stars shine so bright there.  Nights just get SO dark and so beautiful.  I always loved to just stare at the stars and think about how small we all were.

15.) Stained Glass:  Not only stained glass, but butterflies!  No Alpena memory is complete without memories of grandma...and stained glass always brings me to many grandma memories.

16.) Two Girls:  Alpena is, of course, where we really became best friends.